Andrea Nicholas

Even if we don’t claim it for ourselves, it’s safe to say that all of us are familiar with the concept of “bi-sexuality.” The beautifully fluid orientation where a person naturally resonates with both men and women, on the spectrum of sexuality… 

But what about the many women who either do OR desire to connect more “sensually” with fellow women, but not necessarily “sexually?” 

Well, my loves, in my reflections on this topic is where I birthed term “bi-sensual”… 

        BI-SENSUAL / adjective 

        [ bī-sen-shoo-uhl ] 

        Drawn to engage in a sensuous 

        nature with both women and men, 

        without their being a sexual 

        undertone. 

Through explorations with women over the years, I realized that, while my body didn’t become “activated” the same way as it does with men, this in no way prevented me from being utterly in awe of the magic that is womanhood and the feminine body.* 

I also came to realize that there is something undeniably irreplaceable about women both giving and receiving the nurturing touch of each other… I witnessed that no matter how much feminine energy a man runs, the medicine that women hold for each other cannot be replicated. 

(Just as men carry medicine for other men that not even the most masculine-oriented woman can recreate, which is why it is vital for men to go and commune with their brothers.) 

What bi-sensuality can look like: 

≘ Inviting in the naturalness of being nude around fellow women. (Appreciating and admiring the uniqueness of each other’s bodies. Feeling safe to be in the presence of each other whole nude.) 

≘ Giving and receiving breast massage with a fellow woman. (Breast massage is a vital part of physical and energetic health for women. Even for those who are blessed to receive regular breast massage from male partners, I can tell you that it’s a vastly different and deeply nurturing experience to receive it from someone who both has their own breasts and is isn’t running sexual energy during it.) 

≘ Communal bathing with fellow women. (Simply being in the same space or even the ancient practice of washing each others hair and generally treating each other like a queen! This is a practice that still goes on in many parts of world...) 

≘ Yoni Gazing - this is one of the most powerful practices women can do with each other (even if you don’t resonate with either bi-sensuality or bi-sexuality). Most women have never truly gazed upon other woman’s vulva (yoni = “sacred temple” in Sanskrit and refers to the vulva/vagina) and this the root of where deep body dysmorphia resides. Due to the only vulval exposure women have being porn,  labiaplasties (painful cosmetic surgeries to alter one’s vulva) are at an all time high. I wholly believe that if women actually saw what other women’s natural bodies looked like and the huge variety that exists, this would no longer happen. 

≘ Cuddling closely and receiving safe physical touch. (Even when we are in relationship, but especially when we are not, one of the most accessible ways to receive aligned physical touch is from our female friends.) 

These experiences also call us back to an ancient knowing… The priestess sisterhood bloodline that runs through so many of us. (If you feel your body becoming activated by the thought of all of this, it very likely resides within you - no matter how dormant it may have been.) 

I invite you to find or create safe containers to claim your essence and explore it within. 🌸 

________ 

* I recognize fully that there are other versions of womanhood than just those born into “female” bodies AND I also know that it is impossible to speak to every single iteration of woman in my writing. Because my work resides at the specific intersection of yonis, wombs, and femininity it naturally draws in those with a specific physical anatomy and energetic-orientation. (I do have some beautiful examples of other creators who work in the realm of queer/trans womxn which I am happy to point people toward.) 

📷: the luminous WomanBeWild

>> How to let go of fear of being judged & stop caring if you trigger people << 

Though it took awhile, I don’t mind anymore when people judge me or are triggered by my work! 

This is because I recognize that the only two spaces that we can get triggered by something/someone are: 

1. When there is something we are meant to do/have/be ourselves and it is shining a light on how we aren’t embodying it yet. 

(^ This one is very linked to jealousy + competition wounding!) 

2. When there is an unhealed space within us and this external trigger is there to bring it to the surface, so that it can be healed/released/surrendered to. 

? 
 
I recognize that, when I choose to not dilute or diminish myself and instead embody my radiant, fully expressed version, I am literally *being the invitation* for those around me to express entirely too! 

I also realize that, when I choose my “lower self” and hide out because of fear, I’m not only holding out on myself, but also on all those people whose lives I would have touched. 

Many of my client-relationships and friendships have begun with words to the effect of, “When we first met/I saw your posts, I felt massively triggered. When I reflected on it, I realized that it was because there was a part of me that was craving to express ______ too and I was shutting it down. Thank you so much!” 

(To be clear: I’m not referring to being an instigator, who intentionally pushes people’s buttons for the fun of it. What I am talking about is when the byproduct of you simply being you is shaking up people’s realities, which sometimes appears in their world as a trigger.) 

? 
 
Even knowing what I know, I still occasionally come up against fear of being judged. In those moments, I remind myself that I am simply being the invitation and their judgements/triggers have nothing to do with me. 

? 

When fear of judgement comes up in your world, I invite you to ask this question: 

"How many places have you allowed your fear of judgement be greater than the possibility of being an inspiration?" ? 
____________________ 

I’m curious if this has shown up in your life… 

Have you judged yourself for being the one who triggers others, only to recognize that you were actually providing a service to their higher selves? 

Have there been times where you’ve felt triggers arise on your end, only to realize that they were actually in support of your evolution? 

Both? 

I’d love to hear your stories below!

{image source unknown}

Our triggers and our judgments are some of our greatest teachers... 

They arise to illuminate the parts 
of us that are yearning to shift, 
grow, expand, be let go of, 
or be embodied. 

A mirror for how you’ve been showing or not showing up... 

A reminder of a deep part 
of you longing to come forth... 

An invitation to use your voice 
and stand in your truths… 

A remembering of what once 
was and what is to unfold… 

It is no accident certain things trigger you, dearest. And, if you are willing to lean into it, there is much medicine awaiting! ✨ 
_______________ 

I speak on this topic often and dive deep into the work with my clients...but in reading The Book of SHE last night, an amazing exercise to put it into tangible form stood out: 

“Write down all the ways in which you’ve judged people in the last week and notice how it also translates into how you’ve been showing up.” 

(I would add to this, any common themes of judgment that arise for you, even if they haven’t necessarily come up this week. 

I also invite you to look at the themes, as opposed to the specific actions... 

Example: You feel triggered when witnessing a friend not upholding a boundary. It’s an area that you are actually quite clear on, but wavering boundaries is a theme that pops up in your life constantly and this trigger was meant to illuminate that misalignment.) 

I’d love to hear below how this exercise pans out for you! I know it was a powerful one for me...

And so she danced; 
hips undulating, 
feet meeting the earth, 
to the beat of her heart. 

And so she sang; 
soul song resonating 
within her being 
and filling the space 
around her. 

And so she rooted; 
sinking in deep, 
womb connected to 
earth mama’s magic. 

And so she rose; 
standing tall, 
eyes gazing 
into the cosmos. 

And so she roared; 
voice reverberating, 
truths echoing 
through the chasms. 

And so she grieved; 
feeling the pain 
of herself and 
her sisters 
and this earth, 
welcoming it in, 
and transmuting it 
into its higher purpose. 

And so she loved; 
heart open, 
receiving and giving, 
sinking into the oneness. 

And so she remembered; 
truths of old, messages 
of futures past, 
the callings 
and codes. 

A n d 
s o 
i t 

w a s 

A n d 
s o 
i t 
i s 

A n d 
s o 
i t 
w i l l 
B E

An open letter to the person who reported my post on Facebook: 

Dear person, 

I’ll admit, 
when I first 
saw the notification 
that my post had been 
removed, I was frustrated. 

Frustrated… 

that this post - which inspired so many 
people to reach out to me, because it 
touched them deeply - would no 
longer be able to touch 
more lives. 

that I now have 
someone in my field 
who is not in support of 
my work and that I have 
no way to dialogue with you 
about it or remove you from my page. 

that so many people would still rather 
lash out at another, instead of 
doing their own work. 

that my expression was 
hindered, simply because 
the human body triggers you. 

that this is still an issue in society at all. 

that breastfeeding mothers are 
criticized, young women are 
sent home from school 
for being a distraction, 
and little girls enter 
a world where they 
are viewed as 
an object. 

that nudity is seen as wrong and 
the human form diminished; 
nakedness made impure. 

that there’s a whole other layer in 
which women don’t have the 
rights to their own sexuality, 
to express it freely 
and embody it. 

And then I felt compassion, 
when I realized how much 
you must be hurting… 

That maybe, just maybe, someone 
told you that your body was bad 
or wrong. That you should hide 
it and be ashamed of it... 
and you believed them. 

That seeing a nude form and being 
so pained that you can’t let a 
photo of it exist in the world, 
may just be how you feel 
when you look down 
at your own 
nakedness. 

That your 
own body likely 
receives so much 
judgement, for it reach 
the point where it bubbles 
out into the world and into 
other peoples’ realities. 

That maybe no one 
told you it was possible 
to the work within yourself 
and you don’t have those tools yet. 

I see you. 

I feel you. 

I know it hurts. 

And there IS a better way. 

Our triggers are our teachers 
and there is a valuable 
lesson for you 
in this one. 

There is so much 
more available for you... 

If you’re ready to dive into this space 
of possibility, I invite you to message 
me (or someone else you resonate 
with more), to really examine this. 

And, if not, that’s okay too… 

I just ask that you please unfollow 
/unfriend me on here, so that 
we can both keep living our 
chosen lives. 

Sending love, 

Andrea 

UPDATE: Exciting news!!! 🔥🌸🌙💫 The post has been restored! I'm not sure if it had anything to do with this letter (or how that could even work), but either way, I'm thrilled.

△ N A K E D N E S S △ 

From the moment I arrived onto this earth, 
I was told that my purest form 
- n a k e d n e s s - 
was wrong. 

That the 
freedom I 
craved from 
the time I was 
a little girl - when 
the sun basked on 
A L L my skin and the 
cool waters embraced 
my E N T I R E body - 
was inappropriate. 

“PRIVATE PARTS” 
they’re called… 

And no one 
else should 
view them. 

The unseen. 

The hidden. 

(For some, these 
spaces remain 
unknown, even 
to themselves.) 

Shame was programmed into my body 
and beliefs etched into my skin: 

◮ men will not respect you 
unless you are modest 

◮ a woman’s purity depends on her virginity 

◮ pleasuring yourself is embarrassing 
(at the very best it’s taboo and 
at the worst it’s a sin) 

◮ no man will buy the cow, 
if he’s already had the milk for free 

Through taking on these beliefs as my own, I shut down my body. 

My breasts were 
bound by shame. 

My hips were weighted 
down by the heaviness of 
the repressed feminine collective. 

My yoni was dammed 
by the hymen of religiosity. 

I oscillated back and forth 
between desire and shame. 

Sovereignty and property. 

Until…one day, 
I removed the cloaks 
of feminine suppression, 
embracing my nakedness once more. 

Giving my body permission to 
move freely through the world. 

Not for a man’s viewing pleasure, 
but for M Y S E L F - so that she may 
be free *and* invite sisters to do the same.

BE the invitation, loves. 

Sometimes, it’s as simple as that... 

You being an 
EMBODIED INVITATION 
for another to: 

△ transform 
△ remember 
△ heal 
△ grow 
△ process 
△ release 

etc. 

No words need to be spoken. 

No opinions voiced. 

No requests made. 

S I M P L Y 

Y O U 

B E I N G 

Y O U 

IS 

ENOUGH 

✨

Last night, I stood on the highest peak of an uninhabited island in the Aegean sea. I yelled and cried and orgasmed through my feelings. Witnessed solely by the sun and the sea. 

As I climbed up the steep rocks, 
tears streamed down my face 
and I gathered sticks and 
shells and flowers, to create 
an offering. An alter to whatever 
goddess may still inhabit the land… 

There was a point where I didn’t see a way to go any higher, but then four goats appeared on the rocks above me and I trusted their hidden path. 

When I made it to the top, I was filled with a deep sense of accomplishment for persevering. It was mixed with the sadness I carried. 

I found a hidden space between 
tall rocks and created a small alter, 
asking for wisdom and guidance, 
singing my prayers for a sign. 

A looked down off the cliff’s edge 
and a hawk soared far below me. 

A messenger of decisive action, 
leadership, and inner guidance. 

The representative of the soul 
and guardian of the earth. 

I picked up the heaviest stone I could lift, embedding it with my fears and throwing it off the cliff edge. I thought back to a long ago conversation with Michael Hrostoski about the power of working with stones. 

I then laid down upon a rock and bared my yoni to the sun, transmuting pain into pleasure. Feeling the freedom of expressing completely in this open, yet unseen, place. 

As the sun was setting and the crescent moon was rising, I made my way back down the mountainside, to the place where earth meets water. 

My clothes had dried on the journey, 
yet the sea held the only 
path back to the boat. 

So I dove back into the her, 
letting her surround 
and cleanse me. 

Salty tears washed away by saltier water. 

Constriction washed away by expansiveness. 

Soothed by her embrace. 

Purified by her waters. 

_________________ 

I share all of this as a reminder that we are all on our journeys of processing and unfolding...and it doesn't make me or you or anyone less capable or worthy. 

...simply human. 

Even sitting in one of the purest seas, surrounded by magical beings; things can and very well may arise. 

Sometimes, these magical situations are actually the biggest revealers and catalysts. 

__________________ 

(Photo taken by Darya Haitoglou-Popova as I floated in the sea just hours before.)

One of the most valuable tools I’ve integrated from my “froach” (I really think that combo of friend + coach is going to catch on - ha!), Emily Utter is the simple, yet mighty method of: 

SPEAKING INTO 
WHATEVER IS 
HAPPENING 

That simple, loves. 

This could look like… 

Friend: “Hey, I feel that our friendship may have shifted after we had that miscommunication on _____ (e.g. timing). Have you felt that too?” 

Potential Client: “It seems we may have lost our connection there after the ______ (e.g. money investment) piece was discussed. What, if anything, came up for you there?” 

Partner: “Darling, I noticed that we agreed to make ____ (e.g. weekly dates) a priority and that hasn’t actually been happening. It feels sooo good when we do and I’d love to work together on that, so we can find a rhythm.” 

________ 

Sure, it may (or may not!) feel a bit awkward at first, but it feels so much cleaner than letting your observation take on a life/meaning of their own in your head. 

Have you ever tried this out? 
If so, I’d love to hear about it!

Today I was in a terrible mood, for no reason in particular. 

Grumbly. Grouchy. Sharp-tongued. 

Sure, I’ve been impacted by 
the eclipses, starstuff, 
& life stuff... 

But let’s be real; 
overall, my life is 
W O N D R O U S! ?? 

I tuned into my body and 
knew it wasn’t a lack 
of nourishment. 

I’ve been super nurtured 
lately and felt clearly that it 
wouldn’t actually serve to 
curl up in bed for the day. 

So... 

I made a choice to 
take aligned action. 
(Thank you inner masculine!) 

I adorned myself in clothes 
that felt flowy, feminine, 
and sensual. ? 

I left the house and 
came to a succulent cafe 
(pun intended). ? 

I put a song that inspires me on repeat. ? 

I wrote out pages and pages of all the aspects of life I’m feeling grateful for - the simple and the profound. ? 

I breathed deep, sipped on a tea, and became present in my body. ? 

I undulated my hips, rolled my body, and moving my arms; swaying freely. ??‍♀️ 

It only took about 20 minutes of this process to start feeling embodied once more.... 

Heart rate slowed. 

Shoulders relaxed. 

Smile blossomed. 

Now, I’m ready to show up presently for my clients, crafting out magic for them and myself. ✨ 

Yessss to CHOOSING to state change 
and the results it offers. 

How do you get back in sync, babes? I’d love to know what works for you!